Before I throw you off a "naughty cliff," you should really check out this link to Tim Hawkins' website http://timhawkins.net/video.php (No, it wouldn't show up as a link and I am too technologically challenged to make it work. Please just cut and paste and don't be lazy).
Tim is a christian comedian, so it is good, clean entertainment. My brother suggested this site to our family and I laughed until I cried. He has a few new segments on there for Christmas too. I had the same impression as he did about the "Do You Hear what I Hear" song. Who brings a baby shivering in the cold, gold and silver? That isn't even logical. Maybe someone's husband in ancient times waited until the very last moment to buy Christmas gifts and had to settle for the original gift card - cash. Will things ever change? Probably not.
One December, as I was standing in a long checkout line of a busy department store (I think it was a Kmart and they haven't been busy for years), someone called the Christmas department for a price check. After receiving the desired information, the checker came back on the loudspeaker and said "Cancel Christmas." We all clapped and cheered and continued our wait to check out at the register...with sinister smiles on our faces. Cancel Christmas? What a delicious idea! Eat that with your cookies and milk, Santa! I blame you for this, because Jesus died without sin, but Santa is human, so this whole commercial stress fest must be his idea!
Although... Hallmark could have something to with it too. It's always the quiet ones who are constantly kissing up with compliments and sweet nothings and then they end up stabbing you in the back the first chance they get. Dare I even mention the hot chocolate manufacturers, those coniving chocolatiers at Ferrero Rocher who lace their candies with addictive properties that say "Buy my chocolates," the candy cane people, the makers of Christmas lights and inflatables....The list is endless. It is a Holiday conspiracy to make my electric bill soar, my waistline expand, my stress level shoot through the roof as I try to get everything done, and what can I do to resist? Nothing. Because amidst all of this lunacy, I find myself actually enjoying this self-inflicted panic parade that leads up to Christmas, well, most of it anyway.
Sorry Santa! I had a weak moment, but now that I have eaten my entire package of hot chocolate, I am feeling better (and a little zippy). However, I do have this overwhemning urge to go pirate a loudspeaker at a busy retailer, to spread a little Holiday cheer to my fellow women (and the men buying gift cards).
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