Smells Like Chicken, Tastes like...

I specialize in embarrassing myself, whether publicly or privately. It is a natural talent that I possess and can't seem to shake.

I am the star of one of our family's most memorable stories having to do with ordinary baby food. I was feeding my son Benjamin a jar of Organic Blueberry Applesauce. I had him sitting on the kitchen counter, where he couldn't run away. When my son had finished the jar, I lifted him down and he ran off. I saw some of his yummy baby food in a splatter on the counter and swiped it up with my finger. It was neither yummy or applesauce, but organic matter of a deeper, darker and more disgusting origin. Yes, it does taste just like it smells! I used all matter of cleaning fluids to wash out my mouth but felt dirty for days. The joys of motherhood.

All five of my kids have had the ability to make or break an average diaper. I have so many stories of flinging fecal matter and leak-throughs of magnanimous proportions. I could write a book! A great example of bodily functions gone wrong would have to include my oldest son at a Cub Scout meeting where I was the newest Assistant Den Mother. During a prayer, my son passed gas making a man sized blast of sound. A scout turned from the row of chairs in front of me and gave me an accusing look. "It was the baby," I told him. He emphatically said "That was no baby."

This last Sunday at church we were at a special ceremony for our son who just turned twelve and has had many more responsiblities placed upon him. My baby brother came from college to help in my son's ordination and was holding my nine month old son while sitting next to my oldest son. The boy on the other side of him says "Does anyone else smell that? It smells like chicken." After the ceremony, we were leaving the room and as I was handed the baby I discovered the source of the "chicken" smell. It was not a fowl smell, but a foul smell emanating from his diaper.
For the rest of the day, if either boy had a dirty diaper, we would say "It smells like chicken" and it's someone else's turn. That's the pecking order, now isn't it? Get it?