Autism Spaghetti Recipe by Ben

Autism Spaghetti
Put approx. 6 cups water in a pot.
As it heats, put in spaghetti noodles
drop a few on the floor.
Break a few others to leave on the counter.
Mom takes noodles out of unboiling water
and puts on cookie sheet to side of stove,
Shows sign for "all done,"
Which means "don't touch it, dude!"
When she is not looking
put noodles back in pan.
Repeat the addition and subtraction of noodles
as many times as needed
Until Mom gets wise
and puts them out of your reach
When she is in the bathroom,
do whatever is necessary to get them
and put noodles back in pan.
Mom leaves them this time,
because the water is about to boil
and she is tired of fighting a losing battle.
While noodles cook for an excruciatingly long 10-12 minutes,
repeatedly test with a fork or two
only to have them get too hot
and drop them in the water.
When Mom finally takes pan to sink to drain,
she will carefully pull out the white hot forks
and toss them in the sink
while saying something under her breath.
Forget spaghetti sauce!
The noodles are great
right out of the pan
without adding anything.
Unfortunately, Mom disagrees.
She adds olive oil and Spike seasoning,
says something about consuming nutrients,
and puts the plate on the counter.
Poke at the food on your plate
until Mom gets distracted again,
Then sneak as many noodles as possible out of the pan.
For some unknown reason,
food right from the pan is the best!
Then when Mom puts away any extra pan noodles,
walk away from the kitchen.
This show is over!
She always spoils your best recipes.